Propaganda I won’t be falling for
For the past few months, I have been seeing a concerning trend emerging. I have been wanting to write about it but could not find the words. Then one night, when doom scrolling on my phone, I saw a trend that brought together all the issues I had been seeing.
Propaganda I won’t be falling for.
It is a trend of mainly women/girls naming things that they do not believe in. A new wave a feminism to stand against the oppressive patriarchy. Amazing 10/10. No complaints. TikTok has many issues, but it has given a platform to a number of demographics that have been voiceless for far too long.
They are not all the big, key issues, they vary in degree of seriousness.
Garlic bread - Not kissing your boyfriend’s dad - Matcha Dating apps - Heatless curls - Skinny jeans Oak milk - Not texting back immediately - Men - Male and female friendships - Full coverage Bikini bottoms - Preventative Botox - Pride Month - Pro-nouns - Smut being literature - Sex work - Fat dissolver - Birth Control - Removing female body hair - Hoe Phase being normalised - Not drinking - Having children young - Getting married young - Wearing Makeup
My personal favourite is not kissing your boyfriend’s dad. That is so God damn funny. I wish I knew the story behind that one. Have they kissed their boyfriend’s dad? How many of their boyfriend’s dads have they kissed? Do they look like Charlie Swann? Can I have their number?
Oak milk in a cappuccino is delicious get over yourself. Skinny jeans as in 2016 skinny jeans deserve their own circle in hell. Personally, I have never had matcha, but my lesbian best friend is obsessed with it. I love that for her. Sitting opposite her in an independent cafe whilst she drinks her matcha and tells me about her yoga class, carabiner and new frog ring feels like the epitome of lesbianism. She is my personal hero.
However, the troubling trend I was noticing was this new wave of feminism seems to be just telling women what to do with their body.
To shave or not to shave
Let me start by saying, your body, your choice. Shaved, not shaved. If you are a female presenting person who chooses to be hairier than a Birman cat, then good for you, I fully respect that. I admire you. If you are as hairless as a Sphynx cat – again I respect that, that is the epitome of dedication. What I do not respect is telling someone what they should do with their body. Personally, when it comes to hair removal, I use hair removal cream. I only do it when I can be bothered or am overstimulated and want to cry because it feels like my tights are pulling out my hair follicles. I do not shave because society tells me to. To be completely frank, I am too God damn lazy. The idea that woman only do things because society tells them is so completely sexist that I am dumbfounded. Women are not just brainless sheep who follow the flock off a cliff.
Of course, as a species, humans are easily influenced and with advances in marketing this is progressively getting worse. This can be seen on any social media platform and then six months later in charity shops and dumps. This is not just a female issue. This is a human issue.
This idea that if you shave then you are not feminist is also concerning. I have mainly seen this argument in queer spaces. If you shave you are bending to the oppressive patriarchy, I fully see their side. All their lives and within queer spaces they are being told how they should look like as women. What a queer woman should look like. The femme vs butch argument. At first when I saw these videos “I’m gay and have a full bush.” I was like Iconic, 10/10, stunning. It was when I was reading the captions and comments that I started to feel uncomfortable. In one video, I saw a comment from an autistic woman. She said she shaves because she struggles with the feeling of body hair and gets over-stimulated. Another woman responded by saying that is not true and that she just thinks that because she needs a ‘valid’ reason to remove her body hair. Fuck off. You do not get to tell a neurodivergent person how they feel. It is not feminist of you to dictate to other women how they should have their body. That is what feminism is trying to fight against. A person’s right to choose and be treated equally regardless of gender or sex.
This leads me to the next issue I have been seeing and was brought up on one of these ‘Propaganda’ videos.
“I wear make up for myself’ - no you don’t babe and that's okay.”
I started wearing makeup when I was around eleven. Mainly concealer, I had one or two spots that I was insecure about. When I was around fifteen, I started wearing heavier goth makeup. I was a shy, introverted teenager who felt very misunderstood and found comfort in the smiths. At the time I thought I was so unique and cool. Spoiler alert. I was not. I have always wanted people to like me and to be popular, but it never really worked. I thought it was because of how I looked, if I were prettier or thinner they would like me. In reality, I just did not like the things they did. I fell victim to the 2016 eyebrows. This is all to say that teenagers are easily influenced with makeup. I am now in my mid-twenties, and I can confidently say that I do not wear makeup for anyone but me. When I go clubbing, I love having heavily glitter on my eyes. Having the light catch the sparkles and going into my eyes, I feel like I am in a magical world. My own personal kaleidoscope. My best friend/housemate loves makeup. She spends hours on her looks. Matching her makeup to her clothes, it is honestly a work of art. She has painted Monet’s water lilies on her face. When we walk into town together, we get weird looks. Her makeup is stunning but can be a source of anxiety as society accepts one form of makeup and not others. She has been yelled at in the streets. She wears her makeup as it is a part of her, she does not do it for validation from men, women, or society. To say that the only reason female presenting people wear makeup to attract someone is sexist. If you wear makeup to feel prettier, more comfortable or to attract a partner then good for you. Birds have mating calls, male peacocks have their colour feathers, Kangaroos fight. It is incredibly natural to do so. It is not the only reason. Wanting to fight against marketing companies who feed off insecurities that are enforced by society is great. We should question marketing and the content we absorb from media. We should not put down other people to do so. The only way to change the system is to stand together.
Birth control
Birth control is a hot topic. It is an important conversation to have. It is a multi-layered conversation. With what is happening in America and now Britian it more important than ever to have these conversations. People who get periods deserve to have control over their bodies. From the age of eleven (roughly) to mid-fifties, sixties the hormones that run through the bodies of people who have periods is insane. It is great that birth control is a thing. People who get periods finally have something to give them control. They can choose when to have children. They can get help for bad periods. I am medically on the pill. It is a battle I am still fighting in the sense that I want to know what is wrong with my periods. It feels for me that the pill is a band aid on my problem. It has made me life more normal. I am no longer doubled up in pain every month, vomiting, crying. I can move around, not be confined to my bed for a few days every month. I am incredibly grateful that I do not have the bad side effects of the pill. I have friends who cannot use the pill, so have the injection, implant, patch etc. Some who just want to prevent pregnancy use only barrier method. To make a video especially now and call birth control propaganda and say it is the worst thing in the world is dangerous. People all over the US are losing their right to birth control and are now in a precarious situation. People are going to die. This is not okay. Birth control is not perfect; it is not the right thing for everyone. No one thing is right for everyone. We should question the hormones we put in our bodies, we do not always know how we are going to react. There is a link between hormonal contraception and depression. Thankfully, there are companies that are looking into other ways of controlling, minimalizing, or stopping periods. I have a cousin who works in that industry, and I am incredibly proud of her. She is incredible. Very much one of my role models. She recognises that hormonal contraception is not always good for young people who have periods. Instead of simply writing off contraception she has dedicated her career to finding another way. This is the attitude we should have and not demonise contraception and shame people who use it. That is not feminism.
Smut being literature
I first saw this argument months ago and started drafting an article on this topic but was struggling with the structure. I was doom scrolling through TikTok when a video popped up on my screen. It is a very pretty girl who is complaining that none of her friends or family read the same books as her. She said that she wants intellectual conversations. The author she initially mentions that she dislikes is Colleen Hoover. I am by no means that biggest fan of that author. However, to imply that the readers of her books are stupid is plain fucking rude. She puts on a stereotypical Californian valley girl accent and makes fun of people who do not read “classics.” I love classics, I read Jane Eyre when I was eleven. I also love more recent books such as the Lunar Chronicles and the Bridgerton series. I have read all the Bridgertons, the sequels and prequels. One of my best friends essentially only reads ‘fairy smut’ and she is one of the smartest people I know. Enjoying erotic or smut is not indicative of intelligence. This is just another way to shorn horn women into boxes of sluts and idiots. Telling people that if they read smut, they are not really reading and they are stupid makes you an asshole. You can have a preference. I for example love books that viscerally upset me and make me scream, cry, and throw up. (I am looking at you Normal People) Your preference does not make you smarter or better than anyone else. Reading should be enjoyable not a competition to win. Reading at its core is a political action. It is a privilege to be able to read. It means you have had some form of education which not everyone is lucky enough to get. Reading smut is political. It was not that long ago that reading smut was illegal in a lot of countries because of obscenities laws. So, Via La Revolution and get yourself a copy of Lady Chatterley's lover – for intellect's sake.
I guess what I am trying to say is... Do what you want to do with your body, life, and mind. Just do not use your free will to try and dictate to others. In a world where you can be anything, be a decent person.
Propaganda that I will not be falling for.
Telling anyone what to do with their bodies.
Using feminism to bring down other people.