Alone at Christmas?
Christmas… alone
This is going to be my first Christmas by myself.
Christmas is usually my favourite time of year. The lights, the snow, the festive cheer, the really shit Christmas movies and hot chocolate.
Every year Codi and me go to john Lewis and look at the decorations. We pick out our favourite ornament and trees whilst heavily judging the plastic, tacky and consumerist decorations. My least favourite tree at john Lewis this year was the “Heirloom splendour” tell me why it was filled with the hobbies of a 1950s house wife. Do not get me wrong I bake and crochet when I am sad. However, this tree had cakes, sew machines and perfume. I understand the marketing they were going for old fashioned nostalgia… it fell flat… for god sakes there was a hoover ornament. I think my ma would smack me if I bought her that. The only valid one was the knitting mouse as it is adorable. Our favourite tree was Enchanting tales. It was cute and whimsical and reminded me of my favourite ballet, the nutcracker. I did also enjoy the Nordic vibes of Ancient tales but the dinosaur really threw me off. I think it encapsulated what Christmas is about the most and it had ornaments from various cultures and isn’t that what Christmas is about… coming together?
All the more reason for me to feel sad this year. Codi is going home for the holiday, my family life is complicated. Therefore my plan is to get all the mash potatoes I can, get shit faced and do my Christmas re-watch of Doctor Who. I do have a friend who said they might join me so all is not lost. I just am not feeling the yule time cheer yet. I fear I won’t.
I usually do a friend’s Christmas each year. I plan the whole thing, the games, the secret Santa, the drinks and the food. I’m just so tired and none of my friends work similar hours or days. Myself and Heather work hospitality, Codi works retail and Jameson and Simon work in the big boy world with a big boy jobs so only has weekends off. This year was going to be cosy comfort. We were supposed to buy silly Christmas pjs for each other as secret Santa play traditional games, have cheese, crackers. Mulled wine and Quality Street. Followed by a full Christmas dinner. I was going to buy us all cosy Christmas socks and hot chocolate packs and Christmas mugs for us all to enjoy during the film. I was going to enlist Codi’s help and make Christmas decorations this year. I wanted the quintessential cosy, home-made Christmas. I’m scared my grinchness might take it away.
I feel like Cindy-lou singing where are you Christmas. Why can’t I find you?
To encourage the yule time cheer within my coal heart I am going on a mission to bake cookies. These will be Christmas presents for my pub and Finch’s bar. Just to say thank you for everyone for everything they have done all year. My thinking so far are;
- Thumb print cookies (tried and tested yum yum yum)
- Gingerbread men (my favourite)
- Peppermint bark
- Grinch cookies
- Swirled Christmas cookies
- Candy cane cookies
- Snowflake sugar cookies
- Truffles (did it when I was eleven – I can do it in my twenties)
- Peppermint brownies
- Wreath biscuits
- Snowman cake pops
- Gingersnap cookies
- Salted caramel
It seems like a lot but most of them are similar so I can make a batch of basics and then customise them. I’m think two boxes each for both venues. Then I’m going to crochet mini Christmas wreaths to tie the boxes together. Very cutesy very demure. I will start on the first of December and hopefully stop baking by the fifth. Then deliver them after.
Maybe I just need to wait until the 12th of December when I can decorate my flat the yule time cheer will fill me up and I will become so fucking annoying.